My Struggles

Being a Christian gives you such a sense of peace, especially during the hard times because you know God is in control and things are going to work out to give HIM glory! But, since I am human and I still inhabit this fleshly body, I have struggles - different ones at different time.

When I was little, my struggle (although I didn't know it was a problem) was with lying. For some reason, I was prone to telling little white lies all the time. If somebody asked me if I'd ever heard a certain song and I hadn't, I would lie and say I had. Looking back on it, I don't have any idea why I told those lies but I did. Since accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior and wanting to follow God's commands, I have asked God to help me in this area. Guess what? He has done just that! It is a thought out effort sometimes because sometimes the lie seems like it will save me from conflict, but every time I lie it comes back to bite me in the rear. I love that God knows what is best for us - how awesome would our world be if each of us followed all the commandments.

Since middle school, I have had a HUGE problem with gossiping and keeping secrets. I am better about the gossiping now that I am a stay at home mom, and I think that is for two reasons. One, I have asked for God's help with this issue. Two, I am a stay at home mom and I don't come into contact with as many people as I did when I was working. When I was teaching, it was bad. It was like word vomit - where I would try to control it, but eventually it made its way out of my mouth. I realized it was bad when I was working with the youth in Misawa and saw them doing it. Another youth leader and I made it a point to talk about this topic with the girls in our small group Bible study. We had them all come up with a way "out" of those situations where others were gossiping. This is when I realized I needed my own way "out." Mine was more on the bold side - I just simply said "please don't tell me." My friend Deb (the other youth leader) held me accountable and since she taught in the room next door to mine - that helped alot! It is amazing how "out of the loop" i felt when I wasn't involved with the gossip at school, but at the same time I felt so much closer to the Lord and it was easier to express love/friendship to those who around me when I didn't know all their "mistakes." To this day, I still try to justify when I do share things with people, but there isn't anything honorable about sharing somebody else's business with others when you know you aren't supposed to. Sometimes it is just exciting news that I want to share with people, but I know that it isn't my news to share. Like I said, this is something I struggle with and I know I have gotten much better but that isn't because of my doing. I do love this verse we talked about at Bible study the other night - 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But, whenn you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Isn't it neat how God designed the family. The man goes out to work and the woman stays home and cares for the children and the home. Do you think God knows that women are prone to gossip and being at home will help in this area? I know that is what helped me in this area. These are just my thoughts and I know not all women are big gossips and I have even known some men who were worse than their spouses but generally I think it is women who do this.

I also wonder if each human is prone to certain sins. For instance, where I struggle with lying and gossiping, others struggle with coveting or sexual sins. I believe we all have ones we need help with and just as our gifts may not be the same as somebody elses our weaknesses will not be either.