Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Faith Being Tested

Recently, we took a trip to visit some family and some friends on the east coast.  There are many we were going to see whom I am pretty sure aren't living their lives for Christ.  Before we left, I prayed that God would use me as a tool to witness to them about the amazing things He has done in my life (see my testimony here): about the peace I feel even in stressful situations because I know He is in control, about how since my relationship with Him has grown my relationship with my husband has also grown, and how He's answered all my prayers (maybe not exactly the way I was expecting) in a way that was far better than I could ever imagine. 

While in the moment of visiting with all these people, I never felt really led to say anything specific about my faith and because of the change of schedule I didn't spend time in The Word like I normally do.  I was really disappointed about this upon returning home - why didn't God use me like I wanted Him too?  why didn't I speak up and talk about Christ around them?  why didn't I spend time reading my Bible like I normally do, that would have been somewhat of a witness to them? 

I don't really know any of the answers to those questions, but I do know that God's plans are perfect, so I must not have been the one He wanted to use to witness to them or maybe it wasn't the right time.  Also, I know that my actions were still the same as they would have been at home - I didn't do anything on our vacation that I felt went against God's will or anything I know to be against the Word of God so I guess my life was sort of a witness in itself, just not what I was counting on.

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