Traveling Husband

I have been a military wife and now am the wife of an oil industry worker - same man, just he changed professions.  Both fields require that my husband travel quite a bit.  Here are some things our family does to make the situation work for our family:

1)  My daughter and I always take Daddy to the airport and we always pick him up.  It is nice to be able to give him a final kiss and hug before he goes into the airport.  When he comes home, Lilly and I always get dressed up and have a small present waiting for him. 

2)  While my husband is away, Lilly and I keep a journal of all the things we are doing.  This is actually part of our school work and so it helps with letter writing skills, remembering what we have done recently, and drawing a picture to fit the words.  It is nice for my husband to read this when he gets home.

3)  My husband and I try to chat once a day while he is gone, but sometimes it is less.  This keeps him up to date with what is going on at home.  I know some wives who don't tell their husbands some things because they don't want to stress them out, but I don't usually hold back.  I let him know everything that is going on so we can make decisions together.

4)  If we know the exact day he is coming home, my daughter and I will make a chain with links for the # of days until he arrives home.  Each day we take one off and count how many days until we will see him.

5)  We pray for God to keep him safe while he's away and to use him as a light to those around him.

6)  We plan things for while he is home - things we can look forward to like Mommy/Daddy dates, Daddy/Daughter dates, family outings/trips, Daddy "me time" day where he can relax, etc

I know a lot of people say they couldn't do it, but when you are married to a man with a profession that requires he travel a lot - you make do.  It isn't like I enjoy being separated from him, but I try to focus on our time together rather than the time apart.

The Suitcase

There is a suitcase sitting on our bedroom floor.  It pretty much stays there all the time because my husband travels so much.

The suitcase reminds me that he will have to leave again.  Seems like while he is home we pretty much live with the "Only ___ days until you leave again." attitude.  When he is away, we live with the "Only ___ days until you get home" attitude.

Neither way is reminding me to cherish the moments that are now. 

 I am choosing now to look at the suitcase and be reminded  that we may not have many days until he is away, but I will be thankful for the time we have while he is home. 

 I will be reminded that I need to show him each day that I love and honor him, and that I am happy he chose me to be his wife. 

I am choosing now to let the suitcase remind me that God is in control of the amount of days we have together and I will be content with that and not think about the past or the present but the now.

Change My Heart?

Have you ever prayed for God to change your husband's heart about something only to find out that it was your heart that needed changing, not his. 

I can recall a time when this was the case:

One was when we just starting attending out current church and I didn't feel like it was a right fit for us.  I felt it was time for us to go somewhere else.  I kept asking my husband if we could leave and attend some other places.  He continued to say, "I don't think it is time yet.  I think God wants us to stay here for a while longer."  So, I prayed, "Lord, change his mind, let him see things my way."  Come to find out, God changed my heart about our church and now I can't imagine going somewhere else. 

If you have ever read the book by Stormie Omartian, Power of a Praying Wife, you know that the first thing she tells you to pray for when praying for your husband is for his wife.  It is a hard concept to grasp, but it definitely helps me check my motives.  Am I trying to get my husband to do what I want or what God wants?  Ultimately I want to do what God wants always, but sometimes I get sidetracked.

Submit to Your Husband

Right after October 2006, when I truly accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and started living for Him and not for myself, I learned the true meaning of the verse "Wives submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord" Ephesians 5:22.  It doesn't mean to let them walk all over you or beat you, but to trust them (as you do the Lord) to lead your family.  In doing this, sometimes I have to bite my tongue to what I think is right and let my husband lead our family in the way he thinks we should go. 

My feelings on this used to be that my husband was going to be accountable to the Lord for the ways He led us, so I found it easy to be like "it's on your shoulders, Babe, do what you feel God is calling us to do."  Then, if it was wrong or ended badly, I would think, "I'm glad I'm not accountable for that." 

Recently, I realized I am his helpmate. God has made us one through our marriage so I shouldn't think that his decisions don't have any eternal effect on me.  If I think the way he his leading us on a certain decision isn't the godly path, then I need to 1) pray about it, make sure I'm not just trying to "get my way" but that I think there is a better choice, 2) talk to my husband about the decision and we need to pray together about the decision, and 3) if he still chooses the path that I don't agree with, continue to pray for him but also submit and leave it alone even if it does turn out "wrong" or "badly." 

Daddy Time

Here are some pictures of my husband with Lilly.  These are from his first month home after starting his new rotation at work.  She absolutely loved having her Daddy home so much.  One of the sweetest sounds to my ears is to hear them playing together - her laughing with him is so great and the smile on his face when she enjoys spending time with his is awesome!

Playing Ants in the Pants with Daddy and Joe.

Getting ready for the 4D movie at the Houston Zoo.

Fun at Jumpalooza with Daddy and friends.

Mark was the popular adult at the place, all the little kids wanted to be where he was.

Jumping with Daddy!

Today is the Day!

Today is the day my wonderful, hardworking husband comes home after us being apart for 40 days.  Yes, that is right, 40 days -same number of days it rained when God flooded the earth.  It isn't the longest we have been apart from each other, but it is the longest my daughter has been away from her daddy.

I know many people whose husbands are away alot for work - either military or other.  From what I hear from everybody, we all go through the same things - you miss having them around, you get nervous about how things will change when they get home, you have to prepare your children for the changes (them going or coming home), and some days it is just plain hard.

Thankfully, with lots of help from our Lord and Savior, we have made it to the end of this time apart.

Here are some of the things we have done during his time away:
1)  We made a chain link of the # of days until his homecoming and each morning we have torn off one link and counted the ones left.
2)  We have talked to him every other day or so on Skype - so thankful for this technology where you can see the person and hear their voice and it is FREE! :)
3)  We made a journal and have written in it about the important events of each day - Lilly tells me what to write and she draws a picture to go with the words.  This has been part of her school work each day.

Here are some of the things we have done to make his homecoming more special:
1)  We made little signs telling him how special we thought he was and we hid them all around the house - garage, on shirts, on his pillow, etc.
2)  We got dressed up this morning and straightened our hair, put on good smelling perfume, etc.
3)  We are planning a special meal of brisket, corn on the cob and potatoes for his dinner. 

We are so excited to meet him at the airport and smother him with kisses and hugs (and tickles - from Lilly). :)

My Husband

I am so thankful to have the husband that I have! 

He is a wonderful, godly man with many talents.  His talents have saved us many $s in repairs because he was able to fix the a/c in my car, install a 3 prong plug for our dryer, fix the circuit breaker for our dryer, and replace the break pads in my car - just to name a few. 

Ever since I met him, he's always had a strong sense of work ethic - he goes to work when he's supposed to and does what he is supposed to do.  My husband has always made it a priority to provide for his family, even when it meant sacrificing things for himself.  For example, he loves to work on cars and his dream has always been to open his own performance shop and make cars go fast.  When we moved to TX, he was going to attend UTI and pursue that dream, but since our daughter had just arrived into this world and I was nervous about putting her in daycare so I could work - he chose to take up a career working for the oil industry. 

Recently, he has changed positions for his company and now has a rotating position.  It's funny that he is away more now than he was when he was in the US Navy. :)  It stinks when he is away, but the benefits of the position out weigh the cons.  I love that despite his 12 hour days, he still makes it point to talk with his "girls" via Skype and find out what is going on at home.  He loves me and he loves his daughter - there is no doubt about that. 

I know a lot of people who say they couldn't handle having their husband be away so much, but my question to them would be, "Well, what would you do?" I love my husband.  I married him and I am committed to loving him (as our vows said) in good times and bad.  The times away might not be fun, but the time he is home is cherished. 

Like I said, I am so thankful that God gave me a wonderful, loving, hard-working, and handsome husband. 

I love you, Babe!