I know this is really late, but I did want to share what I learned from the challenge.
Doing the marriage challenge allowed me to bring up some serious topics in a light-hearted way and receive some really important information from my husband. It was easy to ask where he saw our family in 10 years with the buffer that I needed to know for a blog I was writing. Sometimes, I have a hard time bringing those topics just out of the blue because he wants to know why I'm thinking about that stuff.
I learned that I really need to help my husband out in being mindful of what I spend and trying to get rid of our debt because that is a goal that he is working towards for our family.
Also, I learned that there are some meals that I cooked before we had a child that he would really like to have again. So, I am in the process of putting those in the rotation of what we eat. :)
The final part of the challenge was relating to behind the bedroom doors stuff and I learned that (again) some of the things I used to do (before our daughter) are things that my husband would like to see again. It might be a little more difficult to make time for those things with a child in the house, but I think it also makes it more meaningful.
My goal is to keep up with the things I learned from the challenge and remember to keep my husband a top priority, right after Our Heavenly Father and remember to ask him about these things often because I just might learn something. :)
Showing posts with label marriage challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage challenge. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Getting Debt Free
This weeks marriage challenge is to sit down and talk with your husband about his vision for you family for the next several years.
Just a little background information:
When I met my husband he was in the US Navy and so I have traveled a lot with him and was left at home alone a lot during our first 5 years of our marriage. A lot of my friends used to say, "I don't know how you do it, I couldn't be married to a military man." Well, my reply was usually - "You don't really choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose to make a good life with the one you love." During those time, the military pretty much made our "vision" for us - told us where to go and how long to be there.
Now that he is out of the Navy, he works for an oil company in Texas which still requires a little bit of travel but not nearly as much. With his job, I was able to stay at home with our daughter, which is a huge blessing for me but something that is just as important to our husband. It is a bit of a struggle because before moving to Texas, we both worked and made a good bit of money, but we didn't hardly have any bills and no children at the time and we were terrible at saving. What little we did save, was used up during the move while my husband was looking for a job.
Since, I am a stay at home wife/mom, I am not able to contribute to the household income at this point - or I haven't found a way to do it and not take attention away from the things that are important to my husband, my daughter and our family. One of the "goals" that my husband has for our family is to be free of the debt that we incurred in the move here - it is a great goal! I have tried to help out in this area by clipping coupons to save money on grocery shopping, but for some reason I end up spending more than I did before. It seems that I am always asking to spend money on something lately - a baby gift for a friend, going out to eat with out of town guests, new crayons or toys for our daughter, etc - this I have realized is putting stress on my husband about reaching our goal.
My prayer is that I can get on board with my husband in this vision and really help out so that when our family is free of debt we'll be able to buy those things that we "want" but for now I need to be still and content with what God has blessed us with, which is far more than we need and let my husband lead us to a place of financial stability.
Just a little background information:
When I met my husband he was in the US Navy and so I have traveled a lot with him and was left at home alone a lot during our first 5 years of our marriage. A lot of my friends used to say, "I don't know how you do it, I couldn't be married to a military man." Well, my reply was usually - "You don't really choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose to make a good life with the one you love." During those time, the military pretty much made our "vision" for us - told us where to go and how long to be there.
Now that he is out of the Navy, he works for an oil company in Texas which still requires a little bit of travel but not nearly as much. With his job, I was able to stay at home with our daughter, which is a huge blessing for me but something that is just as important to our husband. It is a bit of a struggle because before moving to Texas, we both worked and made a good bit of money, but we didn't hardly have any bills and no children at the time and we were terrible at saving. What little we did save, was used up during the move while my husband was looking for a job.
Since, I am a stay at home wife/mom, I am not able to contribute to the household income at this point - or I haven't found a way to do it and not take attention away from the things that are important to my husband, my daughter and our family. One of the "goals" that my husband has for our family is to be free of the debt that we incurred in the move here - it is a great goal! I have tried to help out in this area by clipping coupons to save money on grocery shopping, but for some reason I end up spending more than I did before. It seems that I am always asking to spend money on something lately - a baby gift for a friend, going out to eat with out of town guests, new crayons or toys for our daughter, etc - this I have realized is putting stress on my husband about reaching our goal.
My prayer is that I can get on board with my husband in this vision and really help out so that when our family is free of debt we'll be able to buy those things that we "want" but for now I need to be still and content with what God has blessed us with, which is far more than we need and let my husband lead us to a place of financial stability.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Spoiling my Husband
This weeks marriage challenge is to "spoil" your husband by cooking his favorite meal, dessert and drink for him.
It isn't that I didn't want to do this part of the challenge, but here are my set backs:
1) We didn't really have a lot of $ for this weeks grocery shopping for me to buy the things needed for his favorite meal.
2) My husband is kind of on a diet (his idea) and he works out Mon-Fri at work..well, this week he has been in "class" and hasn't been able to do his work outs plus he hasn't been eating very healthy so he asked me not to cook his favorite meal because it would just add to the unhealthiness of the week.
3) I'm not a great cook (i'm getting better) so there are only a few meals that I cook that he actually likes - I keep trying new recipes to see if they are a hit and usually it is a miss.
The plus side of this challenge is that I had a chance to talk with my husband about what he does like and it turned out one of his top 3 choices was something that I made when we lived in Japan but haven't made it since - chilli. So, I know it is too warm for it now, but I have that in the back of my head to make in the near future. Plus, I want to keep an ongoing list of the meals I make where he goes back for seconds so that I'm sure to make those more often.
As a side note, I did get this book from the library called Once a Month Cooking and I love the idea of spending a day cooking and already having meals prepared for your family. The recipes in the book look faily simple and so I'm going to start using some of them. I shared the book with a friend who wanted it also, so she bought it for me as a birthday present. Now I can mark in the book which ones hubby likes and are good to make again. :)
It isn't that I didn't want to do this part of the challenge, but here are my set backs:
1) We didn't really have a lot of $ for this weeks grocery shopping for me to buy the things needed for his favorite meal.
2) My husband is kind of on a diet (his idea) and he works out Mon-Fri at work..well, this week he has been in "class" and hasn't been able to do his work outs plus he hasn't been eating very healthy so he asked me not to cook his favorite meal because it would just add to the unhealthiness of the week.
3) I'm not a great cook (i'm getting better) so there are only a few meals that I cook that he actually likes - I keep trying new recipes to see if they are a hit and usually it is a miss.
The plus side of this challenge is that I had a chance to talk with my husband about what he does like and it turned out one of his top 3 choices was something that I made when we lived in Japan but haven't made it since - chilli. So, I know it is too warm for it now, but I have that in the back of my head to make in the near future. Plus, I want to keep an ongoing list of the meals I make where he goes back for seconds so that I'm sure to make those more often.
As a side note, I did get this book from the library called Once a Month Cooking and I love the idea of spending a day cooking and already having meals prepared for your family. The recipes in the book look faily simple and so I'm going to start using some of them. I shared the book with a friend who wanted it also, so she bought it for me as a birthday present. Now I can mark in the book which ones hubby likes and are good to make again. :)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Husband's Priorities
Week #5 Challenge: Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask your husband to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example - a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.
Okay, I haven't asked my husband which ones are a priority because I quite honestly I forgot what this weeks challenge was before I looked at it this morning. But, we just completed the quiz in the back of the love language book not too long ago and I know that Mark loves praise, being intimate, and for me to spend time with him.
This weekend, I let the dishes pile up because he was home and I chose to spend time with him rather than doing the dishes - he didn't care - so I know that's not a huge priority. However, I also forgot about a load of clothes that were left in the dryer - he did care about that when it came time to get dressed for church yesterday morning and when it came time to get ready for work this morning - so I know that is a priority. Also, I know that my husband is a lot happier when there is a good, home-cooked meal ready for him when he comes home. He hates when I ask him what he wants or when I wait until he comes home before starting to cook. When we were first married, I was the worse cook ever (I even messed up hamburger helper) but over the years, I've learned that food is important to my husband so I have made an effort to improve (and I think I've been successful).
So, I think I have my top 5 priorities when it comes to serving my husband:
1) Praise and affirmation that I appreciate him and what he does.
2) Physical touch :)
3) Spending time with him (alone or with others)
4) Cooking dinner for him each night
5) Making sure his clothes are always clean and put away
I will confirm this with my husband and let you know soon. :)
Okay, so I asked my husband what order he would put these things and he added something else - he said
#1 is me caring for our daughter and teaching her
#2 is my taking care of my body - going to the gym, etc.
#3 is spending time with him, being intimate, etc
#4 is spending time w/ others
#5 is the clean house - he added that he didn't really care all that much about the house being "clean" as much as "neat" but he knows that is something that I work a lot on. :)
I was rather surprised to find that my time with our daughter meant so much to him. :)
Okay, I haven't asked my husband which ones are a priority because I quite honestly I forgot what this weeks challenge was before I looked at it this morning. But, we just completed the quiz in the back of the love language book not too long ago and I know that Mark loves praise, being intimate, and for me to spend time with him.
This weekend, I let the dishes pile up because he was home and I chose to spend time with him rather than doing the dishes - he didn't care - so I know that's not a huge priority. However, I also forgot about a load of clothes that were left in the dryer - he did care about that when it came time to get dressed for church yesterday morning and when it came time to get ready for work this morning - so I know that is a priority. Also, I know that my husband is a lot happier when there is a good, home-cooked meal ready for him when he comes home. He hates when I ask him what he wants or when I wait until he comes home before starting to cook. When we were first married, I was the worse cook ever (I even messed up hamburger helper) but over the years, I've learned that food is important to my husband so I have made an effort to improve (and I think I've been successful).
So, I think I have my top 5 priorities when it comes to serving my husband:
1) Praise and affirmation that I appreciate him and what he does.
2) Physical touch :)
3) Spending time with him (alone or with others)
4) Cooking dinner for him each night
5) Making sure his clothes are always clean and put away
I will confirm this with my husband and let you know soon. :)
Okay, so I asked my husband what order he would put these things and he added something else - he said
#1 is me caring for our daughter and teaching her
#2 is my taking care of my body - going to the gym, etc.
#3 is spending time with him, being intimate, etc
#4 is spending time w/ others
#5 is the clean house - he added that he didn't really care all that much about the house being "clean" as much as "neat" but he knows that is something that I work a lot on. :)
I was rather surprised to find that my time with our daughter meant so much to him. :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Admiring my Husband
There are many things I admire about my husband..
1) When he starts something, you know it will get finished. He does his best at each job. Right now he is building a race car bed for our daughter and she is so excited to sleep in it. It has taken him a while because he doesn't have much time due to his long hours at work plus our commitments to church and other things, but I know it is going to look great. The best thing about it is that her daddy made it for her and it will be an original.
2) His priorities are in the right order. We read the Bible every night together and no matter how late it is or what is going on, he will always insist we read and pray before going to bed. He goes downtown to feed the homeless on Tues nights and there have been times in the past that I have tried to get him to skip out on that so I can have a girl's night or something selfish like that - he is always quick to remind me that feeding people is more important.
3) He is laid back (except when playing a game). It takes a lot to get him worked up (unless he is playing a game) , but it doesn't take a lot to get me worked up. This is why our relationship works so well because we balance each other out. He is very competitive so when he is playing games our roles are reversed, but that just makes for fun competition.
4) He makes me laugh and is a great daddy. I love that he cares so much for me and our daughter and it shows. Mark gives lots of hugs and kisses and loves to play with Lilly. He is constantly telling me that he appreciates me and that I do a great job at home - when he tells me this, it makes me want to do even better and I think he knows that. :)
5) Mark respects my opinions. I submit to my husband always - he always has the final word and I respect that. He makes it easy for me to do that though because he always asks my opinion first. So I know that he has considered the situation and my thoughts before making the decision he sees as best. For example, this week he has to make a decision concerning work and I know we have both looked at both sides of the situation and prayed that God will lead Mark in the right direction. He hasn't told me which way he is going to go but I know whatever he decides will be for the best.
It is nice to look at the great qualities our husbands have, it reminds me of the things I need to thank God for and it helps me be more specific when I tell my husband I appreciate all he does and is.
1) When he starts something, you know it will get finished. He does his best at each job. Right now he is building a race car bed for our daughter and she is so excited to sleep in it. It has taken him a while because he doesn't have much time due to his long hours at work plus our commitments to church and other things, but I know it is going to look great. The best thing about it is that her daddy made it for her and it will be an original.
2) His priorities are in the right order. We read the Bible every night together and no matter how late it is or what is going on, he will always insist we read and pray before going to bed. He goes downtown to feed the homeless on Tues nights and there have been times in the past that I have tried to get him to skip out on that so I can have a girl's night or something selfish like that - he is always quick to remind me that feeding people is more important.
3) He is laid back (except when playing a game). It takes a lot to get him worked up (unless he is playing a game) , but it doesn't take a lot to get me worked up. This is why our relationship works so well because we balance each other out. He is very competitive so when he is playing games our roles are reversed, but that just makes for fun competition.
4) He makes me laugh and is a great daddy. I love that he cares so much for me and our daughter and it shows. Mark gives lots of hugs and kisses and loves to play with Lilly. He is constantly telling me that he appreciates me and that I do a great job at home - when he tells me this, it makes me want to do even better and I think he knows that. :)
5) Mark respects my opinions. I submit to my husband always - he always has the final word and I respect that. He makes it easy for me to do that though because he always asks my opinion first. So I know that he has considered the situation and my thoughts before making the decision he sees as best. For example, this week he has to make a decision concerning work and I know we have both looked at both sides of the situation and prayed that God will lead Mark in the right direction. He hasn't told me which way he is going to go but I know whatever he decides will be for the best.
It is nice to look at the great qualities our husbands have, it reminds me of the things I need to thank God for and it helps me be more specific when I tell my husband I appreciate all he does and is.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Praying for my husband
This weeks marriage challenge is to pray for our husbands. I didn't know what to write for this because simply put I already pray for my husband and with him. After reading some other posts, I realized that although I do pray for my husband I don't do it continuously throughout the day and I don't always ask him what he needs prayer for. I love the idea of using symbols (like my wedding ring) to remind me to say a sentence prayer for him all throughout the day.
It is rather interesting (though not surprising) that in the past few days while I was thinking about what to write in this post, the Lord was bringing things to the forefront that need to be prayed for - like a situation with his truck that made my husband really angry just the other day or a situation where our pastor pointed out a weak area in my husband and he is having to deal with that. It is hard to hear about our weaknesses, but I know that this is an opportunity for Christ to use my husband in a great way.
I am excited to continue praying for my husband in a more determined way and not as a "something I should do" way. I am excited to see how God works in Mark's life as well as our marriage. The Lord brought us to HIM at the same time (Oct 2006) and I love to see how HE continues to grow us side by side.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Marriage Challenge Week 3
June 21 - Remember Your Vows - post pictures of your wedding day. We will review the sacredness of this day.
Our wedding was a fun and family-filled day, but I'm not sure how sacred it was. Being married didn't change much about our relationship except our last name because we were already living together and we continued to keep our own bank accounts, friends, schedules, etc. We didn't have our wedding in a church, but outside in a gazebo in Charleston, SC. One of my favorite ministers married us which was awesome. We had lots of family and friends there and they all seemed to have a good time - it was like a big family reunion.
What our marriage does show is the awesomeness of God because although we may not have been true Christians at the time of our wedding or even for the first 5 years of our marriage - God didn't allow us to separate. HE kept us together until we got to Japan where we found out what it meant to have a relationship with OUR KING! My oh my how our marriage has strengthened since then. I can't even begin to explain - I know many people laugh when you say you submit to your husband, but honestly it is the best thing you can do. I guess that is why God tells us to do it. :) Funny how God knows more than us.
*I don't know have any pictures on this computer of our wedding - sorry.
Our wedding was a fun and family-filled day, but I'm not sure how sacred it was. Being married didn't change much about our relationship except our last name because we were already living together and we continued to keep our own bank accounts, friends, schedules, etc. We didn't have our wedding in a church, but outside in a gazebo in Charleston, SC. One of my favorite ministers married us which was awesome. We had lots of family and friends there and they all seemed to have a good time - it was like a big family reunion.
What our marriage does show is the awesomeness of God because although we may not have been true Christians at the time of our wedding or even for the first 5 years of our marriage - God didn't allow us to separate. HE kept us together until we got to Japan where we found out what it meant to have a relationship with OUR KING! My oh my how our marriage has strengthened since then. I can't even begin to explain - I know many people laugh when you say you submit to your husband, but honestly it is the best thing you can do. I guess that is why God tells us to do it. :) Funny how God knows more than us.
*I don't know have any pictures on this computer of our wedding - sorry.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Dating my Husband
I was a kindergarten teacher and he was a sailor in the US Navy. I was in a relationship with a guy I had been dating for 5 years and he was engaged to a young girl. I thought he was out of my league. We weren't saved back then and we definitely weren't living a Christian life. We met at a country night club in Charleston, SC. I was a challenge for him just because he had fantasies of being w/ a teacher - apparently that is a fantasy for a lot of guys. He asked me to dance at the club and the sparks started to fly. After a few more times of being around him, I realized the relationship I was in wasn't a good one and there just might be somebody else out there for me. So, I broke things off with my current boyfriend and set off to tell Mark. I think he took the news as kind of a shock, but then starting spending more and more time around me. He eventually broke things off w/ his fiance as well and we became a couple.
After a few months of spending all our free time together, he found out he was moving to Pensacola, FL. So, for a few months, we had a long distance relationship. We would take turns driving 10 hours (one way) to see each other. Eventually, he moved to Jacksonville, FL and I decided to join him there. Yes, though I'm not proud of it, we lived together before we were married. He was deployed shorty after I moved in with him and it was a strain on our relationship to be so far apart, but it was something I knew I had to get used to if I wanted to be with him because he was a military men and military men have to go away for periods of time - fact of life.
The thing I loved (and still do) about my husband are that he brings out a stronger side to me. I felt confident by his side, not shy and reserved, like I had been my whole life. Also, I loved the attention he gave me - when we were together he focused on me and when we were apart he always called or e-mailed or sent cards or something.
I know it doesn't seem like we should still be together because of the life we lived back then, but tomorrow will be our 8 year wedding anniversary and God definately gets all the glory for that. If it wasn't for HIM we wouldn't be together - HE has strengthened us and brought us closer together.
After a few months of spending all our free time together, he found out he was moving to Pensacola, FL. So, for a few months, we had a long distance relationship. We would take turns driving 10 hours (one way) to see each other. Eventually, he moved to Jacksonville, FL and I decided to join him there. Yes, though I'm not proud of it, we lived together before we were married. He was deployed shorty after I moved in with him and it was a strain on our relationship to be so far apart, but it was something I knew I had to get used to if I wanted to be with him because he was a military men and military men have to go away for periods of time - fact of life.
The thing I loved (and still do) about my husband are that he brings out a stronger side to me. I felt confident by his side, not shy and reserved, like I had been my whole life. Also, I loved the attention he gave me - when we were together he focused on me and when we were apart he always called or e-mailed or sent cards or something.
I know it doesn't seem like we should still be together because of the life we lived back then, but tomorrow will be our 8 year wedding anniversary and God definately gets all the glory for that. If it wasn't for HIM we wouldn't be together - HE has strengthened us and brought us closer together.
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Marriage Challenge
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)